Saturday, January 2, 2021

Lactation Update


Back from doctor, sitting in my car at the moment and letting the spouse drive.

The news isn't great.

For those of you who haven't been following, it was recently brought to my attention to try and manually induce lactation a few weeks ago from a friend. I got really excited, bought some expensive pumps, wanted to start that day. My Spouse - reasonably - convinced me to hold off and see my therapist and my doctor. I pouted, but it was the right call. Saw the therapist and the meeting wasn't a great one, but it wasn't a clam jam either. Just saw the doctor.

To be clear, my doctor was very reasonable and brought up points that I agree with. I've kind of known this was coming, but have been dreading the confirmation.

I talk about having mental problems, but I don't talk about all of them. Part of it is because I'm publicly known for some of these issues and keeping anon is still Rule #1. Honestly, a dedicated investigator with access to certain records could probably track me down, but I'm still going to try and be safe for as long as I can.

What this means is my medications are complex and they are treating problems I'm not mentioning. My daily drugs I take barely fit into one hand. Seeing the doctor today was a confirmation of something I suspected and already got from my therapist: my hormone balance is delicate and inducing lactation might be detrimental to my health.

He didn't say NOT to go ahead with it. His biggest concern is that my oxytocin levels are usually pretty high anyway and the other hormones being pulled into the milk might upset the balance my current drugs are giving me.

Worst case? I could fly into a manic episode (or something else I need to control) and that could lead to another suicide attempt. Just a few months ago I nearly got there just from a change in medications combined with stress. Depression and mania is about finding balance. Introducing something new means finding a new balance. I want to try lactating, but it could mean upsetting that balance and that could mean harming myself or losing my job or other things.

So he didn't say no, but he wanted me to wait for the current drugs to find a balance and then when I do it, to try it with regular blood tests and monitoring to make sure I don't lose it. Which my insurance won't cover.

Now I have to budget this idea if I want to move forward. I'm not feeling too hot, so I'll postpone any writing for a few days. I might be on here but I'm not sure, we'll see.

Mentally, I'm kind of in a state at the moment. I've been spending too much time on social media, need to limit to a certain time of day to do all this stuff and center myself. So, I'll still be on daily, but need to really cut back and maybe even get back to writing instead of spending time with my new friends. Sorry, but I'm going to also put #ailovestoorgasm on hold for now. Got it half written, but just not feeling it.

...sorry for not being a more dedicated author. Really wish I didn't have all these problems in the first place.

Keep harmonizing.

#ailovestogrow #johnnyhatesjazz #needcuddles #stupidhormones

Thursday, December 24, 2020

#AiLovesToOrgasm Session 7: Speakergasm


Straight out of the Howard Stern Show, inspired by an impressionable young girl who saw Private Parts in a discount theater and thought "that looks hot." I've tried it before, but just never tried it with something that has enough UMPH to get me completely there.

Until now.

I've actually been thinking about this for a while, yet was never able to get the perfect song I think that I wanted to climax to. I know that might sound a bit weird, but I wanted this to be an experience, not just a one-and-done. I like opera and thought that would be interesting, even earlier this year I timed my orgasm with Pavarotti's Nessun Dorma, and while I've had more intense Os, the experience left me shaking and I can't stop thinking how much it affected me overall, it was so satisfying.

I found the song, but I'll hold off on it so you can experience it with me. When I told the Spouse my idea about using one of the large stereos we have for our TV setup (we have a good sound system, the Spouse is a bit of an audiophile), he thought about it before saying that I needed something that I'd be able to feel in my teeth.

Which is when he pulled out his old amp setup for his bass.

Spouse used to play in a band. Nothing big time, just a hobby, and he hasn't performed in over a decade. But that speaker is intimidating and he said he could wire it to our computer so he could play anything on it. Problem was, we have neighbors and this was going to get loud.

That is why today, Christmas Eve, is going to be the perfect day. All our neighbors are gone, it is noon so even if someone hears the music it isn't at night and we can just say we were celebrating a bit loud if the cops come.

We're in our living room. A layer of sticky plastic is over the speaker and there are enough pillows around so I can get comfortable. I'm wearing a Christmas sweater showing a scene from Christmas Vacation and thigh-high red and green wool socks and we have a little heater pointed at me to keep me warm. My hips and twat are exposed and I've slathered on a bit of coconut oil in case of chaffing. We set a chair in front of the speaker so I'd have a place to put my hands or lean up against. I'm horny as all get out but I'm not wet yet, haven't even touched myself all day because I wanted to go into this dry and see how far it would take me. I'm also wearing my heavy duty sound suppression earmuffs I use at the gun range. It takes me a few minutes to straddle the speaker and get the pillows arranged so I'm comfortable, but I eventually give Spouse the thumbs up, practically giggling as I hop up and down on the amp in excitement.

I'm facing away from the computer and Spouse. We did this on purpose so I wouldn't know what he's doing, but we do have a camera set up to the chair so he can see me.

(No, never gonna release this as a video. Sorry, no pics, no vids, no audio are the rules)

I don't know what is on the playlist except for 2 songs: the song I want to climax during and then our "if I haven't cum yet, this will do it" emergency song, Shiroi Yama no Naka by Shakkazombie, sped up 1.5x speed and put on a loop until I'm foaming at the mouth. That scenario terrifies me, so I hope I cum before that.

Spouse knows me too well, he's starting me out with my favorite Mannheim Steamroller Christmas song, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

"Oh my gosh!!" I cry out, though I'm sure not even Spouse with his headphones can hear me over how loud this music is blasting. I've ridden a sybian on full power and had my sexual body abused by every sort of vibrator I can name, but when those low, low piano notes hit up followed by the horn, I jerked my entire body straight up and had to grab onto the chair with a death grip. We have enough decibels pumping through me I can see our windows rattling across the room. It isn't just intense on my clit, I can feel it rattling up into my womb. My NIPPLES are tingling and Chip's drums haven't even gotten into the song yet.

Spouse has rigged up a program so he can control the sound levels in real time, watching me, I feel it when the volume eases higher and the bass absolutely DROPPED.

I was maybe a minute into this and I could already feel my vag sloshing onto the plastic. Well, what little I could feel down there, the vibrations were REALLY intense.

Even more than that, I love this song. I saw them in concert years ago (the only concert I've ever gone to) and when this song played, a giant video of a man riding a horse went with it. I've always had that video in my head when I hear this song. So here I am, grinding my pussy into a speaker playing a favorite song as my head has me riding bareback through the woods.

I've said it before, but these kinds of intense moments where I can get into a world of imagination and dream while I build towards orgasm, these are the most intense. My legs were really putting on the pressure into those pillows around the speaker, but as I rode through the forest as a princess racing to save her fairy lover, I was afraid my thunder thighs would crack the casing.

Spouse must have seen how much his magic music was affecting me, because he toned it down a bit as the song ended. The buzzing in my snatch when the music faded was a whole other level of intense and I was getting all kinds of sweaty under the pixelated design of Randy Quaid emptying his RV's septic. Pulled that sweater up and tossed it to the side, getting my girl muscles out in the cold(ish) air of the living room but now I'm only wearing the socks and I have to put the earmuffs back on because I forgot I was wearing them and I knocked them off. Another thumbs up for the Spouse (when I turned to look at him he was grinning like a fiend) and I'm ready to go.

Wizards In Winter by TSO.

Oh no.

"Ah! Oh! Oooooh!" I'm not capable of coherent words at this point, my mouth is locked open and nothing is coming out of me as I'm contracting my diaphragm down and pushing without any control, tightening my kegels as low guitar riffs burst into me like the spell of some erotic wizard. I knock the phone off because I'm gripping the chair so hard and thrashing a bit as my body strains closer and closer, the edge is really almost there...

The volume suddenly drops and the Spouse turns the song to the one I've been waiting for.

Hallelujah by Pentatonix.

While Spouse is letting me ease into it by slowly increasing the volume, that bass is on full blast and when the second "hallelujah" comes in with the chorus and those voices vibrate SO LOW...

...oh baby.

My entire body whipped forward as I absolutely screamed and came.

I'm not a professional singer, but I think I'm a little musical. I've sung in choirs and I enjoy singing to the songs I listen to. I'm usually in the alto range, but I can hit some higher notes if I'm warmed up.

Anyway, when I say I sang out, know that when I came and the air was thrust out of me in a rush, I still had enough of my mind together to sing out with them.


I've been to church, I've prayed, I've felt the Hand of God rest on my shoulder during the most trying time of my life and pull me back from the brink. Yet when I came and kept on cumming as these voices shouted praise to God, I felt my entire soul reach out and touch something divine.

When the song ended it was a wonder I was still on the stereo, the heater now way too hot on my flushed skin and parts of me still twitching as I came down.

Which is when my sick Spouse came up behind me and plugged in his bass, sitting on the floor in front of me with that stupid grin on his stupid face.

"Don't you dar..." I gasped out while giving him my best death glare under sweaty hair.

Spouse must have been practicing for months without telling me, because I'm the weeb and he's the normie. So when the opening riff from Porno Graffitti's Melissa ( ) started up and he actually started singing the lyrics in Japanese, I almost dropped this stupid game and jumped him right there. I mean it, Spouse has done some amazing things for me over the years, but just hearing him pluck those falling and climbing cords and sing one of my favorite songs...

I started crying. Oh, and orgasming again. He hadn't gotten past the first line when I was gripping the chair legs and holding my head up on the chair as the rest of me thrashed. I mean, he had that bass cranked and just...listen to the song, that hard low notes are all over the place. With the tears and the spots of white in my vision, I wasn't seeing much of anything.

It wasn't even so much of a feeling at this point - though this was even more intense and invasive than what came before - it was like I was having a lovegasm. My heart pounded so hard and my mind was just thinking of all the wonderful things this man has done for me and cared for me and I could feel all that inside as he played and sang just to me. It was like his fingers were plucking inside my womb and every vibrations reverbed straight into my most intimate parts.

A few minutes later, he apologized and helped me to the couch for some cuddles. He was apologizing for messing up the lyrics and forgetting the last half of the song, but I didn't care as I grabbed him and kissed him on the lips like I was sucking the breath out of is lungs. I was so happy, on cloud nine, I didn't want any of this to end.

Which, considering how nice he had been...

"Drop your pants," I said in a very firm voice.

He actually had the temerity to look surprised.

I growled at him. "You are about to get the blowjob of your life, and then I'm going to do it again, just to let you know how much I love you."

At that moment, Spouse stopped grinning and maybe he looked a bit scared. I figure the grin on my face and my impatient fingers tearing at his belt might have something to do with it.


Just got out of the shower, my legs still a little unsteady and my tummy full of warm cum, I'm wearing a robe and thinking I might take a nap soon before family stuff tonight. Or maybe I'll read. Whatever. Today was a great day and totally worth all the hassle putting it together.

Doesn't look like I got a review yet. REALLY don't want this to go to waste, so I'll hold off on posting it for now. Rereading it this was a big deal here and might even hold off on it until I get 50. Wooh! What a way to spend a Christmas Eve!

Keep harmonizing!

#ailovestogrow #ailovestoorgasm #hallelujah #spouseisthebest

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Discord And A Pirate Story

Someone invited me to join Discord. I might be spending too much time there because I found a group of perverts who are all in my same class of perversion.

On a tangent, I've met a lot of wonderful people while social mediaing to promote Becoming Monsters. Some are fans, some are fellow authors, some are just poeple interested in the girl talking about masturbating her twat.

...some send dick pics. I don't like those...

Anyway, a few of them have been authors of books I've read and enjoyed! I was invited to a Discord server hosted by Cebelius, the author of the Celestine Chronicles, a series I've read when his first book came out years ago. And he talked to me! Ceb is super nice and very open to talk about anything!

It was like watching some sportsball game for years and when you tell a professional athlete you play a little sportsball they sit down with you and talk about it, invite you to their house, play a couple of games with you.

I don't do pictures, but the whole experience has had me glowing like a fangirl for the past few weeks. I think Ceb might be one of the kindest people I have ever met.

You should all pause this to go buy his books. Even if you don't read them, support this guy because he deserves it.

On the upside, every time I join a new social media and put in the effort, I get a huge bump in sales. It will peeter off as I suck the media dry of fans curious enough about the weird girl to try the monster smut, but I'm like a locust swarming through social media and soon enough, the amount of time I'm putting in will not be enough to justify the returns I'm getting back.

But I'm addicted.

I don't talk about my perversions with ANYONE IRL. I talk to EVERYONE on social media about them. I'm getting seriously addicted to social media where I'm getting shakes if I don't check it in a few hours.

I've gone through addiction, I know the signs. I saw it destroy family members. I've seen it almost destroy ME!

So I need to back off, put up boundaries, give myself limits. Can't cut myself off, networking is how authors make money. But every time I dip back in, I check my KDP and there it is, evidence that it actually WORKS!

AARGH!! Why can't life be easy?!


Sorry, had a bit of a moment there. I'm back, totally fine, nothing to see here.

On another note, this week I've been working on a short story because the wonderful, beautiful and amazingly talented Felicia Skye ( @EroticMorsel on Twit ) interviewed me and then asked if I could provide a short example of the kind of stories I write and the kinks that are in them.

2000 word outline, currently 9000 words into it, due date is next week, still have another few thousand words before I'm done...

MIGHT have over blown this whole thing out of proportion.

While it seems like a lot of work - and it is - I feel like I needed it. Writing like this, from the hip, has really gotten my dried up juices flowing again and I find myself excited to get back to my own story. Still got a bit to go, then maybe at least run it through Grammarly to avoid any major mistakes, it is going to be rough and rushed, but it will be DONE. That sense of completion is what I need and then Book 2 is practically going to write itself!

I hope.

Finally, to explain the title and the picture, the story is about a pirate ship womanned entirely by former prostitute women. It is a high seas adventure in a made up fantasy world and all my usual kinks will be there because that is the point of the story. I even had the Discord group give me names and what type of monster girls they transform into so most of the characters were not originally made by me.

Expect to see a link to the finished story sometime next week on my social media and I'll probably link it again next week here.

Here's a small taste to get you perverts hungry for the main event later.


“I know ya want eighty, but I ken’t give ya eighty. I ken give ya sixty.”

Mordicia Bluestein was not a pleasant man to look at. Well, male specimen. Massive jowls from eating good food and not leaving his tiny, cluttered desk all day, the worst part about him that Jyne couldn’t stand was the flop sweat. He had a condition, he told everyone, even now mopping his bad combover and then wringing out a solid stream of rancid ogre fluid into a bucket next to him. His pebbly gray skin had the toughness to stop a cannonball at close range, but it looked soft and flabby in the doublet and hose he wore to make him appear professional.

“We agreed on eighty,” Jyne insisted, leaning over the desk and glaring up at the ogre’s yellow eyes with her one good green one. “You TOLD me it would be eighty when I left port three days ago. I’m not leaving here until I get my eighty.”

“Threaten me all ya want, Jyne,” the ogre said without malice but also without caring. “I’m da only fence left in Olgutra Port that’ll work wid ya. Yer haul will have me barey makin’ rent. ” The meaty three-finger paw the size of Jyne’s head clunked down a leather purse that was clearly not large enough for the agreed eighty bars of gold. “Sixty.”

Jyne Argon’s eye hole itched underneath her black patch. The missing optical orbit in her head didn’t bother her as much these last three years, but when she got irritated, she wanted to rip the cloth off her head and dig her fingers inside her skull to relieve an itch that could never be reached. Instead, those that knew her only saw a scowl that turned her pouty lips into a sneer worthy of a pirate captain.

“I’m going to find another fence, Mord, even if I have to sail to the Eastern Potentate,” Jyne whispered through grit teeth, slapping her hand down and taking the gold. “I’ve got a big score next, and you just lost it. Savvy?”

“Yer done, Jyne, you an’ yer wenches.” The massive ogre reached down and pulled out his pen, dipping it in the ink and looking like he was already forgetting the stunning and furious woman in his office. “When ya robbed the Saintly Bounty, ya pissed off the King. They’re coming fer ye.”

Wanting to get in the last word with all her furious soul, Jyne beat that reflex down and turned to leave with a bit of dignity. She did slam the door, though.


Love all y'all and hope to get back to my fightin' self really soon!

Keep harmonizing!

#ailovestogrow #shorterotica #discord #cebissocool

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Micro-Fiction Showcase 1


I'm thinking today will be a little different. I kinda got into writing a whole bunch of micro-fictions on social media and thought why not put them all here? Cool.

Later today I'm going to sit down and start back into the process of getting Book 2 done. Gonna begin with a light rereading to get stuff back in my head then I'll probably put down a few thousand words. Wish me luck! The micro-fiction was a way of getting my writing muscles flexed again and I think I'm ready.

There is no rhyme or reason to these. The first one was started with a random conversation with @SirJoshuagrego1 on Twatter and it just kind of grew from there. Some are based on random pictures I've found, some on fans requesting I do certain topics. I AM seeing a theme of perverted sex and monster pregnancy, but that is just me. I hope I don't become like Patrick Stewart's story pitch on Extras where he just keeps repeating the same thing over and over again, but it might: I know what I like.

Anyway, got a bunch of them, then I'll write a new one at the end for kicks and giggles. Enjoy!


"Get inside!" Juniper shouts, calling upon her goddess to smite the horde of orcflesh trying to claw their way through the defenses.

"I..." I stutter, wounded and weary from the war to save the Light Kingdom from destruction.

"Never mind that, get out of that armor." Juniper was already throwing the bar back over the door and slumping against the hard wood as the mindless creatures banged relentlessly. "I have three girls that need orgasms if they are going to have the divine energy to keep the barrier up, and you're next."

"Wha?" I ask, shrinking away. "But I'm...I'm..."

"Girl's can lick pussy as well as guys," Juniper insisted, grabbing me by the collar and marching me towards the back and a frantic orgy. "We need all the orgasms we can get if we are going to win this war."


It had been centuries since the giant goddess Peniope transformed into the mountain lewding before him, but nothing was going to stop Hector.

"This is what I've trained for," Hector mumbled, still days away from his ascent and already dreading the hard erection he'd be sporting the entire journey. "This is my destiny."

Walking forward resolutely (if a bit awkwardly), Prince Hector knew that if he wanted to fulfill the prophesy and save the world, he'd need all the royal cum his balls could produce. Because no matter the peril, no matter the danger, no matter how powerful those kegels were going to be, Hector was going to cum inside that goddess until she climaxed.

"I should have brought a horse," Hector grumbled, not for the first time.


When the aliens came to earth, we feared the worst.

When they explained they were dying out and needed females to repopulate their species, most of us recoiled in horror.

MOST of us.

"And do you, Xplorgle, take this Bethany Smith, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

[I do.] Xplorgle said through his translator, the fifteen foot tall mass of writhing slime and yellow tentacles unable to keep an excited squirm out as he looked down with his six eyestalks to Bethany, standing nervously in her white wedding dress.

It wasn't ideal, I'd be the first to agree. I think becoming Mrs. Bethany Xplorgle wasn't what my parents had in mind for me, but I didn't care.

I had a brain tumor and would have only lived for another three months.

Now, five tentacles pumping viscous green cum into my every orifice, I could feel it, my body changing just like the aliens promised.

Tomorrow, pregnant, I would be so much more!


When Santa came, it was inside his whore army of elves. Old Saint Nick was breeding a yuletide horde, and the world would soon fall.

Only the twisted and forgotten monster of Christmas Past, Krampus, could save us from this future of endless winter.

"Aaah AAAH!!" Jamie screamed, cumming even as she felt the barbs of his hard cock pull out, black as coal cum dribbling out between her legs.

"ANOTHER," growled the unholy voice of a chorus of throats, the shadows hiding the immense figure that was part goat, part demon, its prehensile cock the stuff of nightmares.

The next girl, Karin, stepped up and removed her robe. She was scared, looking down at the swelling stomach of Jamie as the monster inside grew and grew, the other woman already large enough to have a full grown man inside her and still getting larger.

Karin knew intimately the birthing that would come next. As she knelt down on the ground, she prepared herself for her 12th session.


Dragons used to be the terrors of the known world, destroying all cities seemingly at random.

Once alchemists found out how to thaumatically control a dragon's mind remotely, the destruction became even worse.

"Blue Wing 4, Blue Wing 4! You've got a Class M Drake on your tail!" I shouted across the room even as my left eye kept me connected to the battle through Vornazx. "Are you listening to me, Blossom? Pull up!"

"I hear ya, Wing Leader! I...I...Aaaah!"

"Tiamat's Tits!" I swore as the alchemical potions caused Blossom to orgasm and loose her connection to Phurn.

This battle was going on too long and I was only a dripping squirt away from loosing Vornazx as I ducked into a steep dive through the fire and flame, claws out to grapple a pair of wyverns even as my back heated up from some unseen breath attack.

"Just...a little...longer..." I strained through grit teeth as my pussy's contractions told me I was seconds from losing my connection.


“Am I...what am I?” Mogami asked, flashing back to the horror she was sure was her death. The blood, the screaming...all so real.


“You are dead.” seated across the study said. “You are now one of the Nure (濡) and a member of my clan.”


“You’re...clan? What is happening?!” Before Mogami did anything rational, when her bra broke and her breasts swelled outward like water balloons, Mogami’s sense of propriety overloaded fear.

“This is perfectly normal.” Was there amusement in his rough tones?


“NORMAL?!” Mogami desperately held onto her thin blouse as the fabric reached its limit and frayed at the seams.

“Of course. As a newly risen Naru, your body is hungry. This hunger will expand your body the more you go without food. It is how you will survive.” The man stood up and Mogami realized his yukata hid a bare groin and waist, his cock larger than a horse’s engorging itself longer and thicker.

“Time to feed.”


"Hahaha, now you shall meet your doom!"

Dr. Madness was shouting something outside the gym. Blah blah blah. I didn't even know which hero he was fighting, though it could have been any of the Lakeside Champions. I didn't care. All I knew was I'd been waiting to use the pelvic thrust machine for fifteen minutes and if that muscle head wanted to finally get off so he could watch the super fight, it was fine by me.

"5...6..." I could feel the burn start in my glutes and it was a glorious feeling.


"No, stop you fiend!"

"He's released some kind of gas!"

"9...10...can all those cape fanturds shut up? I'm working out here!"

"What's happening to mmeeeEEEEE!?"

"We need to clear this place out!"

"Hahaha! Try dealing with a city of monsters, hero!"

These reps were getting easier and easier, I must really be in the zone! In no time it felt like I didn't even have any weight on, though the belt for the machine was digging into my abdomen pretty tight. When I tried to unbuckle it I just ripped the strap apart.

"Cheap Asian crap," I sighed, walking over to the free weights for some squats. My sports bra was really feeling tight and I swore I could hear some stitches popping. "Need to lay off the twinkies, this clothing is not fitting right at the moment."

Racking my usual amount, I decide today was going to be a good day so I slipped on another twenty to each side before lifting the bar off the guards and moving forward. Some more ripping and I quickly glanced around to make sure no one was going to see my cheap workout clothing tear from my snacking, but there was no one else around.

"Whoa," I said, a little vertigo hitting me as it felt like the gym was shrinking around me. I tipped forward and nearly dropped the bar on my shoulders as I looked down and noticed for the first time that something might not be right.

My skin was green. And scaled.


I noticed this because my tits had grown to become as large as two bean bags and completely exploded out of my sports bra, their emerald scales like the small and softness of an iguana as my nipples smashed into the wall 5 feet in front of me and punched holes through the plaster.

Now I dropped the bar as I glanced at hands that were now reptilian claws and my shorts disintegrated off of me as a thick and ridged tail curled around from my back and in front of me.

"This is not normal." I should have been panicking, but my emotions were becoming colder, like everything was changing into a reptile. Or, as wings sprouted out of my back and a hot fire burned in my throat and my face elongated and my mouth filled with fangs, changing into a dragon.

"I need to see this." My voice had turned into a growl as my head shot into the air and my neck stretched out. I turned around to find some mirrors but I suddenly realized there was a problem as my growing had my shoulders hitting the ceiling and I became acutely aware that in the next couple of seconds, I was not going to fit inside this building.

"Hope they have super insurance," I said with a colossal laugh as the structure of the gym gave way and more screaming from all around the city reached my ears.


And that's all for now! This has been fun, but it has definitely put me in the mood to get my own book moving again. See you on the social medias!

Keep harmonizing!

#ailovestogrow #microfiction #backinthesaddle #hidiscordpeeps

Friday, December 4, 2020

#AiLovesToOrgasm Session 6: Sick In The Shower


I’m sick enough I should know better, I’m horny enough not to care. Already got one massive deluge of a squirting orgasm in while I was too sick to get out of bed, might as well make the most of this one.

#AiLovesToOrgasm is back on the menu! Thanks to Jason Plaisance and with a small assist from Rob Brandt over at Goodreads.

Hilariously, my first attempt has led to me jilling myself and then falling asleep BEFORE orgasm! Now even my weak and fevered body is clam jammin’ me! Gonna regroup and try again tomorrow.

—The Next Day—

Ok, wasn’t expecting to start the day off with the peegasm. Who would? You perverts might be thinking because I squirt that means I’m cool with urine, but let me tell you I AM NOT!! Femjaculate is different than tinkle - smells different, looks different, how it feels coming out is different - so my bit of golden shower earlier shouldn’t tell you how deviant I am, it should tell you how completely I succumbed to my addiction. I was utterly ick afterward and the shower was extra long to wash the shame away.

Spent most of the day feeling (physically) better. However, no matter how much I have been improving physically, the day did start off badly from an unbalanced mental state and it doesn’t take much to tip a manic like me towards depression.

What? Not all of my orgasms are rainbows and lollipops: sometimes I masturbate when I’m sad.

Back on target. My toys are still banned and I haven’t worked out in days. My boss saved me from a complete doom spiral and let me do some work from home (that’s right, the highlight of my day was getting to work again, which is depressing in and of itself). I feel fat and weak and I don’t like these feelings so when night rolled around I decided to take another shower.

Our Master Shower is a jet bath shower combo. It sounds fancy but it’s nothing special. What we do have is a head/wand combo the spouse installed, a large water heater and really good water pressure. I can boil myself alive in that shower for around 45 minutes before the water starts turning warm instead of hot.

Before stepping into the show I strip and give myself a look over in the mirror. Sometimes I like to flex off and check my groups, watch those veins pop. Other times, like today, it’s just a reminder of what I’m not or what I dislike. I don’t look long but in my mind I’m imagining some doughy 300 lb couch potato and I want to be done with sick so I can work out again.

The shower is steaming the room now so I step in. And for the first ten minutes, I do normal shower stuff. I think some people do their masturbation first then rinse from the shower, but I like to be clean before I get dirty, just a thing. I do keep an active finger moving down there to get the nub out of the hood, maybe take a little longer with the soap to run my hands all over.

I like my showers scalding hot, so I’m flush for more than one reason as I turn the temperature down slightly and take the wand as I lay back in the tub. This wand is a testament to American engineering with all the fancy settings and modes. I’m in no mood to dawdle, though, so I turn it to Hard Pulse then stick it between my legs.


I have a lot of labia minora. For you guys who didn't take an anatomy class in college, that's the flappy skin parts on a girl's twat that make y'all think of an Arby's sandwich. My girl flower is a whole bouquette and while there is plenty about my body I don't like, this is one of the few parts I've actually thought about having elective surgery on. I just have too much. 


The jet stream flaps my lips around like two mud fish and pounds my girly bits with a bit of sting and heat that is quickly pushing me towards what I need.

"Ooooh, ooooooooouuummmm!"

The pulses are strong and soon I'm hitching my legs up onto the wall tiles so I can stretch my entire body out, rain from the overhead shower hitting my chest as the wand feels like a whole group of dwarves pounding me with their water hammers to mine the orgasm straight out of me. I'm really shoving the wand close, mostly for the clitoral action but enough of the stream is angling up inside me I am imagining a steady stream of hot cum filling me up while my I feel an orgasm building just from the tenderness of my labia and...and...

...I can almost reach it, pushing, straining...almost...I needneedNEED...

I burst into tears as I buck and drop the wand, climaxing finally even as the water is starting to get warm. My other hands tries to get more action out of me by going to the clit but I'm shaking too hard and I just curl up in the bath and bawl my heart out as my muscles slowly regain control of themselves and the water gets colder.

I orgasmed and it felt great, but this isn't the first time I've cried during an orgasm. The emotions that go through my head are very STRONG when I cum, sometimes those emotions bleed over, a wire gets crossed, something. I wouldn't say I was sad I orgasmed, the orgasm felt great, but the emotions that come out of me aren't always what I expect and it all gets jumbled together.

I eventually cleaned myself up and finished before the water turned into something arctic. I tried to finish writing this last night but while typing it in bed I fell asleep (stupid rona!). So here I am getting it done quickly before doing more telecommuting work from home. Hope you enjoyed this, even if sometimes honesty isn't as sexy as a sybian. Let's see if I can get back on the saddle sometime next week.

Keep harmonizing!

#ailovestoorgasm #notallorgasms #showerscene #stillsick












Saturday, November 28, 2020

My Descent Into Degenerate Hedonism Is Cumplete


With the posting of my 5th #AiLovesToOrgasm I'm realizing there is a story here. For nearly the last year I've been pinballing from problems, crisis, emotional highs and the very depths of my emotional lows. For the first time in over a decade I was close enough to suicide I had to drop everything and take a breath before I lost everything. I bawled naked in a shower while my Spouse held me for hours and I just completely flipped my brain off.

I would say this has been a long time coming. I'm not emotionally stable on the best of days and the last year has been a roller coaster I was not prepared for. Thinking on it in a realistic timeline, I lost my job, wrote a book, got a new job in a completely different sector, published the book, had to deal with the pandumbic, got censored, took on too much to market my book back from the brink, got sucked into multiple addictive social media outlets, had my meds adjusted twice - the second time much harder and the straw on the camel's back to my emotions - had an emergency session with my therapist and got my meds adjusted AGAIN, all while trying to live up to a fandom that has been beautiful and giving and I don't want to disappoint anyone. This while getting 90% of the way to finishing Book 2, working enough overtime to get a new car and start looking to buy a new house...

I'm honestly surprised I'm still alive.

So, promises of finishing broken, Book 2 is on hold. I'll get to it when I get to it. In the mean time, surprisingly, my stupid orgasms-for-reviews idea kinda took off and I'm looking at 6 new reviews in one week! Each time I responded, I kept getting more daring and I've edged away from any vanilla O as I try to test the limits of my body and see what new and weird thing I can do for your amusement. When Felicia Skye ( @EroticMorsel ) asked for a short bit of something for her blog, I gave her a collection of posts from social medias and now there's a weird short erotic story on her blog ( ).

I like it. It is disjointed and lacks flow, but the format feels raw and real. So I want to take everything from my social media, blog and some interviews I've done and just cram it all into a book. It will be the strangest erotica novella I've ever seen, but it will be all of me. However, while I'll work on some preliminary stuff and get a cover commissioned, I'll not want to publish it until Book 2 is done. That way it can be about the creation of Book 2 and kinda tie everything together in a neat bundle.

What do you think? It isn't like the stuff on there isn't available for people to read already. All I'd be doing is organizing it and then charging people for the privilege of reading about me. It will be weirdly autobiographical but also feels so self-indulgent. Comment on what you think I should do.

Although plenty of reviewers got called out on social media, here it is again: Leonard Bowman, Scott A Vieira Jr, Peter Anderson, R Lee and all you other silent reviewers, THANK YOU!! You are all the reasons I am still alive today (part of the reasons) because when I was hating myself and unable to cope, I actually went to my Amazon page and read some of your reviews. In a tiny bitty way, you helped me realize I matter!

Now that the emotional stuff is out of the way, wipe your tears so you can feast your eyes on my latest commission from Morgan Wright ( ):


It is sooooo cool looking, and she actually managed to make Diane's boobs bigger so mega-good job there. If you author, make sure to get her services because they are top notch!

Lastly, for those of you who have stuck around and bother to read my blog, I have a special treat. I've put up a lot of preview chapters from Book 2 on here before (seriously, there's probably 10% of the book previewed in previous blog posts) but I have always been very careful to avoid one fetish that is KEY to the story and is central to ALL the wives. It will be short, but this is the actual first part of the first chapter followed by the first part of chapter 2 here and although it doesn't have a lot, I think the implications will give you all a good idea where Book 2 will be heading.

And yes, I do go all the way with this fetish.

((NOTE: this is an unedited preview of Book 2 and as such is subject to change in publication))

“This does not appear to be normal.”

“Ya think, Velma? Wanna add a jinkies for good measure?”

Diane, in shock more than anything, wearing only a matching pair of red panties and bra, was holding onto her stomach as if she didn’t know what to do.

Holding her pregnant stomach.

Very pregnant.

Like, nine-months-with-triplets pregnant.

Both Honoka Jefferson and her first wife, Diane, were in Honoka’s bed - wide awake now - on an early Friday morning, August 29th. The covers had been thrown to the floor in a panic. Honoka was in an oversized brown shirt with a faded spaceship on the front and the caption Browncoats Do It In The Verse. A month ago the shirt was more oversized than now but the twenty-six year old mixed African and Japanese American woman was having something of a late growth spurt. As was common since the Change, the black skinned hermaphrodite sported a painful, throbbing, oozing with precum, sixteen inch long and thirteen inch circumference, veiny, uncircumcised, tilting upward and slightly curved penis shaft growing out where the clitoris would be on a normal woman, above a damp, engorged-with-lust yet otherwise normal vagina. Typically, the Beast (Honoka’s pet name for her black man-sausage) would be invading her thoughts with mounting need (or a need to do some mounting) but right now Honoka had other problems. Pregnant problems.

“Did you, I don’t know, accidentally eat something?” Honoka asked, flustered to the point of asking stupid questions.

“Does this look like a food baby?!” Diane shifted around, trying to move into a more comfortable sitting position, failed, and growled in frustration. Shooting her bright green eyes up at her wife, Honoka got a full-powered hormonal glare. “A little help?”
Honoka started, blinked, then leaned over to help the irritable redhead succubus into a more comfortable position. Or tried. Honoka was five foot four inches, four inches taller than a month ago, but she still looked like a recovering anorexic; without some Status help, moving a five foot eleven pregnant woman was exhausting. The emerald green wings and tail only made it more difficult. The fact the mattress was a little broken from a surprise event last Monday morning made it even more difficult.

“I’m no expert,” Honoka said, flopping back onto her side of the bed, giving Diane’s stomach a more critical examination, “but isn’t there supposed to be something a bit more...gradual in the process?”

On Sunday of this week, an orgy in the basement gym of their large Indian styled home occurred. Hundreds of feet beneath what used to be Harvard and twenty-four days after the five year anniversary of the aptly named Change - bringing to earth fantastical Races and Classes and blue-colored Status menus - a group of eight married women performed their wifely duties following a fun movie night. The main event was Honoka copulating with Diane for the first unprotected time with the express intention to have a child. It was possibly the happiest moment of both their lives, made better with mind blowing orgasms, magical growth of all sorts and enough milk and cum to fill a large water tower.

Sunday. Five days ago.

“It’s not like I’ve been secretly pregnant for the last nine months,” Diane replied, her frustration starting to subside and replaced with worry. “We’ve seen each other every single day since we met. We went to bed four hours ago: both you know and I know I was as flat as a washboard last night.” Holding out her hands, she looked down at herself as if this was some kind of prank. “Unless you have a better theory, I’m calling Status shenanigans.”

Both of them grew silent, giving the Beast side-eyed glares as if it was all his fault. It was, but blaming the penis seemed adolescent.

“Next step is obvious.” Honoka gave the succubus a quick kiss, rolled off the bed, picking up her phone and walking towards the door. “Either a healthy baby or magical mega cancer is in there: both mean you are going to a hospital.”

“Mega cancer?!” Diane squeaked, the idea this might be something other than a baby never occurring to her.

Honoka winced, giving an apologetic glance back toward the bed. “Sorry, guess the joke wasn’t funny.” Checking her phone, the black futa peeked out the door to see if there were any underaged children waiting outside. “It’s five thirty right now. Be ready to leave at six. I’m going to wake up everyone, get some cereal, get a quick handjob, then we are heading to a hospital even if we need Banda to carry you there. Loves.”
Diane blew a kiss and Honoka walked out, both furiously texting. However, even if Honoka was trying to sound unworried, this new development had her terrified inside.


“You’re pregnant.”

Honoka tried really hard not to roll her eyes. “We gathered that. Could you tell us how far along she is?”

This time the doctor looked like he was trying really hard not to roll his eyes. Glancing at Diane sitting on the table, strapped in a pair of stirrups and displaying her sopping pussy in a clinic manner, her tummy too large for the one size fits most hospital gown, then looking back at Honoka. “I can’t be sure without running some more tests, but I’m fairly confident she’s at least thirty-eight weeks and is more likely into week forty. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was dilated right now.”

Being honest with herself, Honoka didn’t understand what Doctor Doyle was telling them. She knew the basics of baby making but there were a few terms in there that flew over her head. Honoka had planned on there being more time to research everything. She could, however, understand the sarcasm weighing the doctor’s words.

Narrowing her eyes, she had to suppress her instincts to bite back and held her breath, letting it go after a moment. “Thank you, doctor. Before we have the ultrasound, could you give us a few minutes to discuss things?”

“Of course.” Doctor Doyle gave them some odd looks while leaving the small room, but he’d been giving them odd looks for the last hour so it was par for the course at this point. Which left Diane on the bed/table, Honoka pursing her lips and holding Diane’s hand.

It was almost noon and the entire morning had been a whirlwind of activity. Banda needed milking so Pad took up the task while Dolly and Quinn had to finish a delving assignment with an assist from Aruna for a large batch of Transmutation Crystals Becoming Monsters has ticketed for the end of the day. Eve decided she wanted to pick up Miaka from the airport so Eve got allocated to human (allowing her feet to reach the pedals) and Padmava got to experience what it was like to be a goblinaga. Which left Honoka to manage the hospital visit. Not difficult, because while Diane wasn’t moving much under her own power today, a few points in Strength got Diane princess carried to the large Harvardtown Hospital in the Shiny District.

“’K, before he gets back, now that we know I don’t have some kind of disease we might want to get out of here,” Diane announced, sitting up and looking ready to leave.

“We don’t know you aren’t sick, not completely. What about the ultrasound?” Honoka asked, her ears twitching as she imagined eavesdroppers all around.

“Can we risk it? Dr. Suspicious has already put me through the ringer with questions I couldn’t answer honestly, though Racism was working in our favor for once because succubi have unexpected kids all the time.” Diane was on her feet now, wobbling a little as she held onto Honoka for support. “We devil whores are notorious for evading questions like who’s the father? and why didn’t you see a doctor sooner?”

“I appreciate you wanting to keep my secrets, but is it worth it?” Honoka asked, having not moved and speaking so softly Diane could hardly hear her. “What if my Race did something to you, or to our child? What if…”

“Three moves ahead,” Diane assured Honoka, tapping away at her phone. “Your mother got hold of your Uncle Akisame. He’ll be arriving from Gainesville tonight and he’s already sent in the request forms for Service Privileges at this hospital. Uzume also said because everyone is coming up to Boston anyway, he’s bringing his entire family.”

Honoka breathed in to grumble further, but she let it out in a yelp as the door suddenly flew open and Eve burst in like a Michael Richards impression.

“Maternity Taxi, at your service,” Eve said with a bad New York accent, her face turned in a cheesy grin. “You preg ‘em, we leg ‘em.”

Eve got a double dead pan, which she graciously accepted as her rightful due. Eve was still human, placing her at six feet three inches and looking like an ebony athlete decided to dress like a professional rave bunny. Although usually wearing fishnet like strippers wore glitter, today she wore a tight white body stocking that was more transparent than a time traveling Scotsman’s aluminum. To keep within the bounds of modesty (or within the legal limit of indecent exposure), her waist was covered in a black latex micro skirt and her prominent Ds had thick Xs of electrical tape over the nipples. A bright red thong looped over the top of the mini and two matching flats finished the ensemble. Her hair, usually a kinky mess whenever she humaned, was in a bunch of tight dredds and tipped in gold colored rings on the end, her hair clinking in the middle of her back whenever she moved. Her thick lips under her broad and flat nose was shaded the same red as the thong and her eyes were brushed in the same gold as the ringlets in her hair.
It was a smoking outfit and if Honoka wasn’t so worried about Diane, the futa-girl might have shoved a chair under the door and went for a threesome. That didn’t stop her dick from bonering a bit inside her jock strap under her crimson skirt. However, Honoka had other concerns. After stuffing all her anxieties into a tiny ball, Honoka sighed and stood.

“Why are you here?” Honoka asked, moving to give Eve a resigned hug and a lingering kiss, likely getting lipstick all over her face. “Not that I don’t love the outfit, but we still have an ultrasound and…”

“Your uncle is bringing special equipment, no worries,” Eve replied, striding over to Diane and looking her up and down. “Hmm, gonna need at least ten Strength. Pass the six from Pad and another six from Diane to me, should be plenty to get this girl back home.”

Honoka stifled a growl, realizing something was going on but not knowing what. Glaring at the two women, Diane had the decency to duck her head in guilt but Eve just spun her hand to get on with it. Pursing her lips, Honoka pulled up her Status and allocated the Strength and some Endurance. “Until we know more, Diane’s off the allocation table, but Banda is done milking and can spare the points.”

Maybe Honoka shouldn’t allocate angry, because Eve got her muscles grown into her within a fraction of a second. The force alone of gaining muscle mass at such a velocity flung the tall black woman first into the wall and then onto the floor. Normally a masochist, without her goblin pain/pleasure receptors, Eve stayed on the ground for a full minute groaning (not in a sexy way).

“That wasn’t nice,” Diane chided, causing Honoka to flush and fiddle with her Status to move the goblin Racial Feature Painz Gone! back to Eve, instantly turning the groans into moans.

“I wonder if there’s a way to do that again, but with some chains,” Eve said, licking her lips as she stood back up. The body stocking had fit her tightly before, but going from a fitness model to Jen Walters burst seams all over and now looked more like destroyed pantyhose. Her hips didn’t widen so much, her glutes had exploded to shove the micro up onto her waist and completely expose the red thong. Her breasts didn’t grow any bigger but they got thrust forward as pectorals major and minor rippled underneath. Popping her left bicep in a sharp curl, the black and veiny softball swelled into a hard melon, tearing completely through the stocking, Eve grinning at her strength.

Honoka was having trouble keeping her own clothing from tearing over a swelling of another kind, gulping and wiping some sweat off her forehead.

“Well, time to get you home,” Eve said suddenly, scooping Diane into an easy carry and briskly walking out the door. She only stopped for a moment to grab Honoka’s pink bag stuffed with Diane’s clothing and loop it over one shoulder.

“Wait!” Honoka cried, worried about Diane but more worried about some kind of plot between the wives against her. “What is going on here?”

“Don’t worry about anything,” Diane said over Eve’s toned and rounded shoulder as the ebony woman strode down the hospital hallway, dodging around doctors and nurses and people in gurneys and wheelchairs. The succubus gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. “You just have fun.”


It happened too quickly for Honoka to react. Clawed talons clasped around her shoulders and yanked her backwards. Before the surprised futa could bring up her Status and allocate, she spun around in a utility closet no larger than a bathroom stall and witnessed Miaka locking the door behind her.

“Miaka? I...” Honoka trailed off, a few other things becoming clear in the dim light of the single bare bulb.

Miaka’s breathing was deep and loud, as if the former MMA fighter had gone a few rounds. Her overly large hazel eyes practically glowed with their intensity, her gaze not up on Honoka’s face but down lower. Her bright red and blue plumage was matted with sweat, giving the woman a stark appearance. She wore a long white tank with a stylized sketch of Toni Jaa on the front that hung down to her hips, which is when Honoka realized the shirt was the only stitch of clothing on the owl woman.

“Heya, Hedwig,” Honoka said slowly, raising her hands up in a placating and also defensive manner, gulping as she tried to regain control of the situation. “Happy to see you’re excited to get on with harmonizing, but why don’t we cool off a bit and get home. I mean, not a lot of room in here for anything exotic.”

“Don’t care, need to f…screw.” Miaka stalked forward a step, putting her in reach of her long feathered arms.

“I can see that,” Honoka mumbled, her own resistances wearing down, her eyes locked on the neon blue skin of Miaka’s clit and labia underneath the soft red down of her mons. Those bits of blue looked swollen, moist and oozed with femine need. The futa girl backed up as much as she could, her back jostling the shelves of TP and other bathroom supplies behind her. “Still not the best place for a first time.”
Miaka didn’t answer, instead taking another step and pushing her body up against Honoka’s, the hard muscles of the kikiyaon’s erotic body pressing Honoka against the shelving and eliciting a squeek out of the smaller chocolate Ymirian. The owl brought her arms up sharply, grabbing the shelves on either side of Honoka’s head while moving her taloned feet under the shelves, essentially locking Honoka into place. All Honoka could see was red feathers and could feel the rapid heartbeat of the Japanese owl beating hot blood throughout. With Honoka’s recent growth they were almost the same height, Miaka leaning in for the last inch to plant her beak inside Honoka’s mouth and lick the other woman’s teeth with her long, thin blue tongue.

“Mmmm!” Honoka tried to say, tasting the rancid flavor of Diane’s C&A potions as Honoka tried to pull her head away and Miaka leaned farther in. But then heat rose inside Honoka and her own tongue got involved and her body slowly untensed.

Breaking off, Miaka reached down with her hands to undo Honoka’s skirt, keeping her body pressed close and even grinding a little. Miaka was working blind and after a few frustrated seconds, she reached a talon around the band and sliced it down a few inches, using her other hand to roughly shove the fabric down Honoka’s bare legs. Exposed to the air now, Honoka’s XXXL custom jockstrap was straining to hold her meat in place and her inner thighs were starting to soak from her own womanly juices. Another claw more gently moved the support out of the way to spring the chocolate cock into the air, premen already dribbling down the shaft.

“You are now going to stick that in me and pound me until we both can’t see straight,” Miaka stated with husky force, crawling up the shelves with her arms and legs to suspend her pussy just above the tip. Those shelves must have been heavy duty to support her weight, but Honoka didn’t care at the moment as the owl woman rubbed her blue lower lips across Honoka’s turgid meatus, pushing the tip in far enough to bring dark foreskin downward. “If you don’t want anyone finding us, you better do it quickly and quietly.”


And there you go, now y'all can get on reddit and make wild theories about my next book and start flame wars over what this all MEANS!

...please do that then send me links, I'll totally join in!

Not sure when my next "regular" blog post will be, but stay tuned for the next #AiLovesToOrgasm here.

Keep harmonizing!

#ailovestogrow #beinganauthorishard #mentalproblems #preggopreview

Friday, November 27, 2020

#AiLovesToOrgasm Session 5: Nipplegasm


((Note: this is part of a series of personal sexual encounters where I record as soon after the event as possible based on receiving a review to one of my books on Amazon - . The game is the more detailed the review, the more detailed or exotic the sexual session described, looking specifically for details such as a favorite scene or favorite character from the book in the review. Follow on social media under the hashtag #ailovestoorgasm ))

To start off, getting a nipplegasm is not a fast process. At least, I’ve spent hours before on it but never had the patience to finish. In other words, I just get so horny and worked up I give up and I’m shoving my fingers into my throbbing and drenched snatch to jill myself into oblivion. Those orgasms have always been intense so I’ve wondered if there was overlap and an actual nipplegasm would flatten me or something.

After getting home from The Feast, I flew out of my nice clothes and into some comfy PJs: gray sweatpants and a red sweater with a pair of shōjō anime eyes over the chest. No bra but I’m not doing this naked, the room is too cold right now. Dozed in and out a bit from the threatening food coma, but was determined to do this, so I started on the couch and pulled up some ASMR porn I have on a playlist. Ever since I got the audioporn chapters done from the book, I have become obsessed with listening to the sounds of sex, so I have an audio collection of hot and steamy sex, moans, groans, screams and gasping breaths taken from my personal collection of over 3000 porn videos. I use it as background noise A LOT when I’m masturbating and whenever I say I’m listening to ASMR, it cums from these files. If you ever have a hot file of yourself (preferably a girl/woman or couple) with a recording of yourself actually orgasming (#noprofanity please), I’m collecting them. Have a separate small iPod I keep them all on.

Once the audioporn started panting in my ears, got to work by closing my eyes and playing with my nipples with my hands under the sweater. I didn’t want to go hog wild, just sensually brushing them over the sloppy groans of what I think is the actress Kali Roses getting pounded in one of her videos. When they aren’t erect, my nipples are just little clumps of loose skin on top of a thin layer of mammary tissue pancaking (more like crepes!) on top of not insignificant pectoralis major and minor that I can’t help but flex in a rhythm of bouncing muscles dancing under my hands.

Unlike my pussy, which has a hair trigger, my nips take a while to get going. I’m kinda hitting a trance so I lose track of time, but eventually I’m biting my lip as those puppies engorge and fill up between my fingertips. I’m a grower not a shower. And while my lower regions are sensitive enough to get off by just rubbing my legs together, these chest erections aren’t as tender so I start to crank and squeeze more forcefully as time passes.


I open my eyes when I cry out in a gasp, instantly embarrassed. Spouse looks from the book he’s reading and smiles suggestively, wiggling those eyebrows. I blush, even through it isn’t like I haven’t done worse in front of him and lean in for a quick kiss before falling back and work those nubs like a baker kneading the morning dough.

Getting my nipples erect is a slow process. They can take as long as ten minutes to go from soft to hard, but once fully engaged they are THICK. It is almost as if my body understands how badly I’ve wanted large breasts and tried to make up for it with turgid fatties. They are thicker than some of my fingers, though my hands are admittedly very small and dainty. What I’m starting to really crank is my puffy and bumpy areola, which fattens up as well into a dome of thick skin and it is all adding up.

There’s actually some science behind smaller breasts being more tender than larger ones because the glandular tissue isn’t wrapped up in so much fatty tissue. Big gals might not know, but us shortstacks get a lot of aches and pains when groped too hard. If you are a guy, as best as I can piece it together from the Spouse, the feeling is similar to having a hard round of testicular groping. At least that’s what I threaten him with whenever his groping gets too enthusiastic. So when I say I’m kneading myself, the focus is on the nipples and areola as I pull and twist. My chest muscles are swole and sore from a hard workout earlier today and my mammaries are already radiating waves of light pain, so my ministrations are energetic yet careful.

I’m constantly moaning and whimpering now, sliding my body around on the couch and bumping into my hubby while my sweater is pushed up to my collarbone and I’m now wondering who’s stupid idea it was to wear sweats! My crotch is damp but not wet and I have to almost physically restrain myself from reaching inside myself to finish the job. I’m in the danger zone and when I open my eyes I see that 80 minutes have passed. As I said, a long process to build up this far.

“Time for phase 2,” I say, gasping a bit as I most definitely do NOT rub my thighs together, slowly creeping up and shuffling to the bedroom while I slip out of my sweaty sweats, only wearing my boyshorts style pink panties now.

Spouse doesn’t say anything, but he’s a quiet one like me and he follows with a smile. I’d jump him right now but he is adamant about having sex only once every 2-3 days. I don’t know how he does it, I’d suck him dry 6 times a day if he’d let me, yet he respects my needs and is always willing to help with my perversions.

“I love him so much,” I think as he gets me strapped spread eagle on the bed for the second time in a week. It doesn’t take long, we’re old hat at getting me tied and pied.

I’ve still got the ASMR in my ears with the current girl a screamer begging in Japanese. However, I can hear when the hitachi flips on in the hand of my future tormentor and my head whips around, getting my hair in my eyes that I attempt to blow out. His other hand holds a tube of Vaseline.

“Just a little Vas, don’t want you chaffing,” the spouse says. I think. Hard to hear him with the earphones, got a girl screaming for a harder pounding in my ears. Putting it to practice, a few cold glops plop on my nips before he straddles over top of me and leans over like a mad surgeon about to perform sexual surgery.


Then he pulls over the second massager, my little green one.


"Oh snap!" I say as I struggle against my restraints, my eyes wide as Spouse does exactly what I told him ("no matter how much I beg, no matter how much I strain, I AM GETTING A NIPPLEGASM TODAY! Never give up, never surrender!"). I just thought in my head he'd only use the hitachi, which would have given me some slight reprieve, I think. The hitachi has the big round head but the green one has a flat disk with knobs I just KNOW are going to dig into breast flesh and drive me bonkers.

Despite my hesitation, I gulp and smile valiantly, rubbing my crotch up against his rough denim. He shifts up my abdomen and slaps my thigh, waving a no-no finger before turning both massager on and kissing me in the mouth to distract me, going in for the kill.


"OOOOH!!" I scream loud enough our neighbors now know exactly what the [Loves] are up to again (here's to hoping they've stopped trying to call the cops on us). Putting those vibes on my nipples like he did was like that time I stupidly got myself hit with one of those stun sticks on full power. I immediately thrashed from the shock and pleasure zapping through my body, but Spouse is a big guy and he was expecting it, using his thighs to keep me in place and have me ride out the initial plunge. The roughness of his jeans only turns me on more as he completely controls me, forcing another scream/moan out of me as most of the pain fades into the background.

Now I had to go to work.

A woman's orgasm is a delicate thing and is mostly mental. In other words, if I'm not in the mood (yeah, like THAT happens often, but it does happen) no amount of vibing or pounding is going to get me there. However, if I WILL myself to THINK about getting over the top of that wave, cumming will happen.

Because my breasts are the focus, I use my vivid imagination to believe these massagers are some kind of scifi device used to increase my minuscule breasts into boobs, into tits, into JUGGS!! I can feel them swelling, bloating, growing into a pressure on my chest, on my body. The Spouse has to tumble back as he's caught inside my cleavage, trapped while boulders blossom into a flood of flesh, filling the room and straining against the walls, wood and plaster creaking loudly as...


I was not expecting it to cum so quickly! I'm used to something like a rack, pulling and straining until that tipping moment when everything crests over and you get flooded with all those lovely chemicals that feel sooooo good.

This was like a bomb going off. One moment I was riding the pleasure and the pain and starting to really radiate a lot of soreness from my nips as they were brutally beaten, the next it was my whole body seizing up as if I was being pushed into an orgasm instead of being pulled into it.

"Aaah! Enough! Enough! Stop! PLEeeAAAAAH!!"

I arch my back and lift the Spouse into the air as the second bomb goes off and I feel myself lose all control, the second O a squirter deluging into my pink panties and sloshing onto the bed before the Spouse even has time to back off. He doesn't, the cruel taskmaster that he is, keeping those tools of torment on my nips as best he can as I try to buck him off. This is all happening so fast and I'm seeing spots as the Spouse does what I've trained him to do while he waits for the safeword.

"Lolipop!! LOLIPOP!!" I scream as I finally remember there is a safeword and what it is. My whole body is a tingling and twitching mess as he finally relents and rolls off me, aftershocks causing me to suck air like some landed fish.

I'm done, this whole idea is done. I like an intense orgasm as much as the next lady, but I can't even enjoy the afterglow right now because I have some serious pain I need to deal with. When the straps come off and I get a look at myself, I notice one of my nipples - the one the green massager was on - is bleeding and even thinking about wearing any form of cloth of them makes me wince in pain.

Spouse grabs me a bandaid and some Tylenol and my water jug because my throat is raw. I gulp water and just lay in my sweat and squirt mess, knowing now I needed to wash the sheets if I wanted to sleep in a few hours. Was not expecting the squirt at all, though this was going to be a simple O like I'm used to vibing out.

I'm writing this while lazing in the bath, sheets in the wash, but my head is drooping and I'm afraid I'm going to drop it in the water. Hope you enjoyed this new format and remember, I like to cum but you only get to read about the ones I see reviews for.

Keep harmonizing!

#ailovestoorgasm #nipplegasmsaredangerous #sotender #canigetanother




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