Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Beef Jerky Time!

 Originally posted on August 29, 2020 at https://ailovestogrow.wixsite.com/mysite/post/beef-jerky-time


An exchange student from Cameroon, an Irish priest, a girl from Sweden (or Austria) and a jivin' dude from the African Education Conference step into a train car. They all order a glass of orange juice. The punchline involves a gorilla, but most people still find it funny.


Ch26 is done, around 4000 words. This week was more my fault, spent a lot of time working on marketing and then Factorio 1.0 gave its siren call to me so I put in a few hours. ImKibitz's amusing new run of it is to blame. I am still working on the book and I believe I've worked out all the Factorio for right now.


Marketing is more of what I find pulls me away. Not just the effort to research possible avenues, but the constant waiting and checking to see if the marketing was effective. Marketing is a headache, stress and ultimately a time-waster that drives a woman nuts! In many ways it feels like I'm nickel and diming myself with every dollar spent. And I do see upticks, just no giant surges. Then I have to sit and look and wonder whether some KU is from Amazon's advertising or from a forum post I made. Then I have to weigh to pay for more Amazon or pay into another group. Altogether, I'm seeing some increase, but not enough to justify what I'm paying in. Thus far I'm riding high on the huge bump I got when CENSORED hit the market, so my marketing efforts are going to slant off by next month, but I'll also then have a good idea what works and what doesn't.


For those of you who are interested, Amazon's marketing wing is the most effective when selling on Amazon. However, long term, using groups like WhizBuzz will put my book out there in SEO optimizing and it'll mean more visibility when people start looking around for a futa monster harem on other search engines. If this sounds like a lot of work 7 months after publication, you are probably right. I didn't know what I was doing when I published BM:GP in February, I just put it out there and hoped people would see it. I was so very wrong.


A book has a very narrow window to get noticed, erotica or any other genre. After that, WOM is the only way that book can get noticed like a tree in a forest. Well, WOM or the author writing another book. This is how erotica authors survive, the nature of smut making WOM almost impossible. It is why erotica is almost always so short. I hate short erotica, or at least how so little good smut is long enough to make any reasonable character progression. However, I understand WHY it is short: authors gotta eat, easiest way for people to get pulled in is to publish the next work.


Back on track, why am I worrying about marketing NOW? Simple: by improving my SEO and visibility, when Book 2 gets out, I'll have a lot of pieces in place so that when launch happens, in that narrow window I'll make enough sales and get enough reviews to create momentum to push through until Book 3 cums out. Which, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm getting another ulcer.


This is why authors have tried so hard through all the years - and even still today! - to get those lucrative publishing deals. It makes sense, not because authors make more money (most do not), but because when a publisher pays an author their royalties, they handle all the other stuff. Most of that stuff is marketing, and I have had to become more of an expert in marketing than I ever thought I would need to be.


I now drink a bottle of Pepto a week for heartburn and my poop has been black for months.


I think I had a dream as a teen and that dream was different than what I wanted it to be. I wanted to write and...that was it. When I got through college, I realized writing didn't just happen, editors needed to be a part of the process. I agree, all great writers have great editors. Don't have to look farther than these blog posts to see I'm someone who needs an editor. So when I got Growing Problems ready for publication, I didn't think about all the little things. I got the editing done, I made a stupid cover, then pushed a button and BAM! PUBLISHED!


Then...girl, I didn't even KNOW! February 19th is when Growing Problems got out there and my life got turned upside down. Honestly, I didn't think my book would sell Harry Potter numbers, but I didn't expect...what I got those first few months. It scared me. I started looking around and got a cover artist. I got the audioporn made. I tried a few marketing ideas that didn't work. Really, CENSORED has been my most successful move, but some others have worked to varying degrees. I got writing again because I knew Book 2 needed to work but I desperately wanted Book 1 to stand on its own.


I guess what I'm saying is no book is just about getting it written, there is so much work that goes into it that is besides writing. And I wasn't...emotionally equipped to deal with all the other stuff. It messes with me and drives my stress to record heights.


*breathe...calming breath*


You know, I don't know much of what you all like to hear about in these blog posts. I see them as a way to keep myself in check, a way to keep myself honest with how much and how often I write. I could post a word count and be done with it, but then I feel like people want to know more about me. Since I have no intention of talking too much about myself or politics, all I have left is pop culture and the frustrations of being an author.


Welcome all you new folks from WhizBuzz and all the other places I've been frequenting recently! Also, thanks to John for his review on GoodReads. It disheartens me to see your single star, but mostly I would like to hear what you didn't like about my story. A wordless critical review doesn't help me to improve or let others know what specifically you didn't appreciate about my story. I hope anyone else in the future gives me honest reviews so I can know how to be a better writer.


I like being a writer. I don't think I'm cut out to be a marketer.


Keep harmonizing!


#ailovestogrow #onedollarbet #marketingshmarketing #heartburn

Nerd!

 Originally posted on August 21, 2020 at https://ailovestogrow.wixsite.com/mysite/post/_nerd


I had someone call this out to me at the local store and it just kind of stuck in my head. "I'm a geek - an expert, often amateur, in various types of jargon and trivial knowledge of a subject, mostly related to obscure fictional material - not a nerd - an expert, often professional, in a field of science or technology, usually, but not always, related to computers." I was wearing a hat and mask combo that let people know I play video games, so whatever.


First off, got Ch25 done and part of 26, 11,000 words. It felt good to get back to the swing of writing, even if I'm currently sleep deprived. Honoka is deep inside her wives at the moment and everyone is going through what I'm calling Allocation Boot Camp, so lots of sex, sparring and LOTS of process transformations all around. Also winding things up for the big finale, so I hope everyone is getting as excited as I am!


Reviews!! First is Dark Ape from GoodReads, happy to see you like the book even without the sex! Also perused your other reviews and based on your averages, 4 stars is high praise. Thank you! Kindle Customer also liked the story between the erotica and absurd kinks. Thank you! Sam Nock then wondered when books 2-6 were coming out and while I am flattered that you think I can keep anyone's interest for 6 of these paperweights, it got me thinking. Thanks for the review!


Book 1 is 198k words long. Technically, it is 194k, but the rest is what happened when I converted the Status blocks into images. When I submitted the book to Editor-kun, it was 210k, which he cut down to under 190k and then I built it back up over the next few drafts. Currently, Book 2 is riding high on a little under 200k, so after editing and drafts the final count will probably be in the range of 230k-250k, but I don't know, I haven't done much self-editing this time around. By the Law Of Authoring, that means Book 3 will probably be around 300k. Ug, that sounds like an absolute slog. Can you imagine 300k of bad puns and dick jokes?


That is then the end of Honoka's adventures. I'm sorry if that sounds like not enough, but I'm a firm believer that when a story is done it is done. However, 750k words are the equivalent of around 9-12 average length harem/litRPG novels or around 80 short erotica (closer to 100 process genre shorts) based on average word counts. Heck, that's more words than Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn Trilogy! I'll probably keep writing under this name but even right now I have the singular longest work starring a futa girl. When I'm done I'll have one of the longest series - based on word count - involving fantasy erotica, harems and especially process kinks. Take that, Lingster!


So if it seems like I'm taking forever, it is because I'm writing novels the size of books professional fantasy authors are putting out, and I'm doing it at roughly their same speed (or lightyears faster: how long until Winds Of Winter comes out?) and I'm doing it while working a full-time job. I'm not as fast as my idol, JC McCrae, but that man is inhuman. Really, each chapter of Worm is 4k-8k, unedited, and he was popping them out 3 to 4 times a week while working full time as a painter. Still, his last chapter had...


...


Ward is done. It finished in May.


...


My hands are legitimately shaking. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Worm, it is my favorite series of all time. It isn't perfect, it drags in parts, but Taylor is my super-duper hero and I nearly drove myself insane in 2013 waiting for McCrae to put out another chapter every few days. I legit have made my own Skitter cosplay outfit and worn it in public. When asked who I'm dressed as I just say I'm cosplaying the best superhero. Its why I've put off even looking at https://www.parahumans.net because I didn't want to start into something that wasn't finished yet, especially a sequel to such a life-defining story like Worm. I'm a busy woman, for the last year I've dedicated 90% of my free time to writing my books and I KNEW if I got distracted I'd never get anything done.


McCrae had more influence in forcing me to write and publish than any other author. I know I talk about Jim Butcher a lot but I based my chapter sizes on Worm's chapter word counts. Mostly, I looked at how he was able to just write and put it out there and people loved it. I found the strength to write from his example. You are reading Becoming Monsters because Worm exists.


Honoka has a lot of me in her, but when I built a world with essentially superpowers and spread it out I used the Wormverse as my yardstick. How powers work, how a person can react both good and bad to gaining powers, these are all themes I got from reading Worm. AND THE SEQUAL SERIES IS FINISHED AND JUST BEGGING TO BE READ!!


I...this is going to be really hard for me, but I need to not read Ward right now. If I read Ward, I'll have to reread Worm, 1.7 million words. With Ward's chapters, it looks like it is probably at least a million words. That's like Wheel Of Time amount of reading, and I'd have to read and reread them both a few times before I got it out of my system. Book 2 would never get finished and I'd probably spiral out of control in an emotional whirlpool I'd never get out of. That sounds crazy but you people be the judge, based on my own fragile state most weeks.


Crap, now I gotta have Editor-kun make a profanity-free version of Ward. He did that for me on my birthday a few years ago, absolutely awesome, but he later told me it was so much work he would need to charge me if he did it again. McCrae is stellar, but he tends to be a potty mouth.


I'm rambling. I need to stop thinking about it and just get back to writing, but as soon as Book 2 is done I'm going full silent running and jumping back into the Wormverse. This is non-negotiable, I've been waiting years for this and besides, Book 2 has been like hiking the tallest mountain. I'm worn out and I'm not even done. Like Bilbo, I need a holiday when this whole thing is over, giving me the fortitude I'll need to get into Book 3.


A lot of what happens in the next chapters for Book 2 are party preparation, allocation and harmonizing the Second Wives Club. Then the final climax and Editor-kun gets started. I then reread some public domain children's books and finish the dream sequence. I'm almost there, this funky ride is almost done. And I know I still have Book 3 to get to after that, but I have to eat this elephant one bite at a time.


AAAARGH!! I want to read Ward SO BAD!!


Keep harmonizing!


#ailovestogrow #wardisout #abookaslongashonokasdick #temptation

New Ads

 Originally posted on August 15, 2020 at https://ailovestogrow.wixsite.com/mysite/post/new-ads


Under no circumstances do I recommend working with Amazon's advertising division if you want to retain your sanity. After a month and a half of...revisions? More like "you can't use the word spoon in this ad." Only they don't tell you you can't use the word spoon, they just reject it so you have to try again. Then you get it up and some offended tool cancels it even though you had started to pay money...I'm wondering if it would be worth it to file a complaint with the FCC and see if they'll take my ad then!


I shouldn't make empty threats, though. Keeping my anonymity is tantamount to my emotional well-being. But I don't have to like it!


Anyway, people should start seeing CENSORED pop up in their kindle app with Diane's blacked assets front and center. With the money I've been getting for my overtime, I budgeted a significant chunk of change to get this advert moving and I hope it pays off in the next few months.


I have been spending too much time on forums. Yes, I justify it as exposure advertising, but really I've been piddling. Still finished Ch24, 3000ish words, AND work really has been a grind with 70+ hours this week. I'm surprised I got any sleep between work, writing, forum-ing, playing some vidjama games, playing with myself all while getting back to my gym that FINALLY opened again so I can limit my Expanding Frontier to within the boundaries of my jeans.


I can either eat ice cream or kill my co-workers. Going to the gym saves lives.


The last few chapters have been tense and emotionally draining. Drama, some angst, wondering if Honoka is going to snap and kill someone, the Evil Society Of Evil making their move and Honoka teetering on the edge of doing something unforgivable, it is a roller coaster. Ch25 is just some good ol' fun, back to basics, get to see a few characters from the beginning of Book 1 again and ending it all with some wholesome expandy sex. The rest of the main story is a non-stop Harmony session until Ch30 when we start up the climax and the family gets to show off all those points. Then I send it to Editor-kun while I re-read a certain collection of old children's books and write the dream sequence. Then it is 3-4 more draft touchups, working with Editor-kun closely where he cuts up my baby and I cry. Only then do I get to work on making the Status graphics, because those things are a pain to fix and Editor-kun helps, which costs me money so I try to do as much of it as I can. Editor-kun then finishes the cover and formats the book for final submission.


I know I have wanted to get everything done by the end of the year, and while that is still techically possible, I'm no longer supremely confident. I'm not the only client that works with Editor-kun and his time table could push the release date further out. I want to push myself, but I also want to keep eating and my job is both time-intensive and stressful. Sometimes it just gets to be so much that I arrive at my writing time and I stare at the screen for hours. I'm not blocked so much as I'm tired and worried if I'll have a job tomorrow. How am I supposed to write smut when mayors are shutting down businesses on a whim and mine could be next?


I think part of my recent slow down has been trying to get through all these chapters with the drama. It started around 19 and just kept going. My own fault, I wanted this all in here, but it kept going. I'm probably going to go through it all soon and either cut out a lot of it to tighten up the drama or add in some fart jokes to keep the levity up.


Interestingly enough, I recently had a written conversation on the Process forums about why I write the way I do. Erotica is on average 10k-15k words and if it is a part of the Process genres (BE, FMG, GTS, TF, TG, Futa, etc) it is usually even less. Book 1 is 198k words and so far I'm 185k words into Book 2. I'm not going to say I have the longest-running smut series, Tefler is far and away ahead of me there. And because his stuff has a lot of...I think bimbo transformation would be the closest, though I remember one clear scene with BE and a few other TF, I can't even say I have the longest Process series. But for a story starring a futa girl I'm pretty sure I'm in the lead by a LOT and when Book 2 comes out, I'll be the undisputed futa queen. Also, with all the Processes I have in BM, I think I even have Tefler beat out for sheer quantity in that department.


What I'm getting at is when people write a short erotic or process story, they focus on one or two scenes and then publish, rightfully knowing there are girls like me who will buy table scraps because that's all the smutty food available. This has become so normalized in the industry that we EXPECT our smut to be smaller than this blog post. The problem is then authors forget that we also need to bond with characters before we can be fully satiated.


This is one of the reasons I like the Kate Daniel series by Ilona Andrews.


((Forewarning, the first book in the series isn't very good. What I mean is, there is a part near the end where Kate is pushed to do something stupid by the male lead, she does it, then when it fails, Curran blames Kate and KATE ACCEPTS IT IS HER FAULT!! URRGH!! That entire part breaks the book for me and I just move on to the next one, which gets better))


Kate is awesome, kicks butt and takes names, slings magic with the best of them and while it is clear she isn't some simpering sissy who needs a man or an overbearing woman who needs to denigrate men, Curran puts up with her crap just like she puts up with his. The two are a matched pair and it takes three books of building sexual tension before we get to the actual smut. The only way this series could have been better was if Kate was the were-lion and Curran...well, he can be a shifter too. Fortunately, there are plenty of spin-offs involving the various wonderful supporting cast to itch that TF kink. Dali is my favorite, she turns into a tiger.


The reason the books are so hot and heavy is because the authors give us readers enough time to get to know the characters so when the smut happens, we are riveted. Just because smut has smut doesn't exclude it from needing all the things people require to enjoy a story: plot, good world world-building, interesting prose (or at least legible prose) and characters the reader can engage with. None of that happens without the author putting in the work.


So if you are wondering why I don't write erotica just like everyone else, there you have it. I want you to get to know Honoka and the wives just like I know them, and a couple of scenes isn't going to be enough for you to see them as people instead of cutouts.


Mad props to M Rutlin for your review! Gotta say, I hope I am through this mess now as well. If I had to do it all over again, I would have written all 3 books first and then dealt with publishing them later and dealing with all the advertising drama later. Self-publishing is way, way too much work to do on the side, it is a full-time job. If only I made enough money writing that I could quit my IRL job, this would all be so much easier. Not there yet, though. Sigh. Also a shoutout to Joshua Sloane from GoodReads for your stars!


Going to call it a day right now. Here's to hoping the world regains sanity soon and realizes a disease isn't worth killing an economy over. If a person gets sick, they can recover from that, there are proven treatments that are affordable even without insurance. How are they supposed to recover if they can't feed their family?


Keep harmonizing!


#ailovestogrow #marketingsucks #chuggingalong #katekicksbutt


PS: a reminder for everyone that's new, look for my username (ailovestogrow) on GoodReads, PornHub, YouTube and newly active at http://www.process-productions.com/forum/index.php . I talk about smut, promote my book, provide you with audioporn from chapters of Book 1, lots of good stuff. Every like, comment and especially review goes a long way to building up my joy glands and lets me step just a little closer towards the day when I can do this full time. And I know it is a pain to register for this blog, but that's so I can write whatever I want here and not get arrested for making smut accessible to minors. It is really easy to register and then you can ask questions to me directly from this very page!

School Video Equivalent

 Originally posted on August 7, 2020 at https://ailovestogrow.wixsite.com/mysite/post/school-video-equivalent


Yeah, I'd love to do something here with my usual flair, but IRL job is killing me. With all the overtime I'm putting in, I'm going to buy me a new cosplay outfit next month! It also looks like next week isn't going to be much better. Grr!


Despite that, got in about 4,000 words. Honoka is having some serious anger management issues because her superpowers have consequences and this was always something I wanted to write about. I even alluded to it in Book 1. Now she has double the harem and those problems have escalated to the point where it is out of her control.


Loves and kisses to Patrick Ketcher, thanks for enjoying the ride even if it wasn't what you expected. Care to share what you would like to see in upcoming books? Who knows, I might make it happen.


Welcome all joining me from http://www.process-productions.com/forum/index.php ! As fans have already discovered, lots of specific, processy smut to go around in Becoming Monsters with more to cum in books 2 and 3.


Anyway, back to the title. Remember how when a teacher didn't have anything so they just popped in a video to waste time? That's what I'm doing. Enjoy the preview of Book 2, Ch8:


((From earlier in the chapter: “Here’s what everyone got:” Honoka announced, her head clearing abnormally quickly with all the extra Attributes giving her a focused boost. “Miaka is going to be on point, which is why she has most of Banda along with Quinn’s Agility. This should be enough muscle and speed to handle and react to any traps we come across. Dolly will be rearguard with enough Dexterity, Perception and everything else from Quinn to fire off an arrow that could save Miaka if she gets in trouble. Sorry, Cheetara, but Banda’s boobs needed to go somewhere and the added weight might slow Miaka down for a deadly couple of seconds. I’m going succoblin to consolidate their Attributes, though I’m also taking Banda and Quinn’s Wisdom and Intelligence to keep my MP up. I’ve also never delved before, so I’m thinking having goblin regen is a smart move for me. I’m not sure how a long snake tail will work in a tight trap room so I’m leaving Padmava in reserve for now.” Looking critically at how Dolly was handling her breasts, Honoka pursed her lips and allocated the six Strength from Padmava over to Dolly, her muscles rippling underneath the fur and the young woman breathing a sigh of relief, giving a webbed thumbs up. Honoka scrunched her face up in pain, the headache sharp and fierce at this point.))


The following is a work in progress, Editor-kun hasn't even glanced at it yet, it is subject to change radically in the coming months.


“Run faster!”


Honoka would have bit off a response to that helpful advice if she could have managed one. Both of her arms pumping for all their worth as her stubby legs dug into the metal grating for all they were worth, her shorts and jockstrap long ago burned away from a waterfall of acid three rooms back, she didn’t have the breath left in her lungs to do anything more than huff and puff. Honoka would have laughed at how she looked if everything wasn’t so dire: the only clothing that had survived the six trap rooms they passed through was her belt holding her sword and gun, leaving her only one more tangled sheath in legs moment away from falling to her death. In fact, Honoka was using the novel idea of wrapping her tail around the sword to keep it from flopping around, her wings tucked around her neck like a cape, but they didn’t have the agility to move further around and down to give her any support. And without any support, she was getting smacked in the chin with each frantic running step as her breasts tried to pummel her to death. The sensation was intoxicatingly pleasurable, but she didn’t need the distraction.

Behind her, inching closer and closer, the rusty floor plating was falling away into an endless blackness while the walls kept firing those annoying poison darts.


“Hand me the pliers, I almost got it!” Quinn frantically yelled, standing on Dolly’s shoulders with her arm in a hole in the wall where the TC for this room was located. Dolly absently did so, then fired seven arrows into the air faster than a full-auto machine gun. Honoka couldn’t see what they hit, but as they whizzed around her each of those arrows clanged with impact, likely taking out a flurry of those poison darts before they could hit her delicate goblin skin.


“Forty more yards, Honoka!” Miaka was at the doorway, looking through to the next room and trying to stay aware of any extra surprises. “Just…oh crap!”


*ggggrrrrrrrRRREEEEE!!*


Honoka could see it, a large plate of the ceiling above the door was moving downward in a steady pace, trying to trap them all here, rusty screeching lowering the slab of iron downward quickly. Miaka could get through, but the other three wives didn’t have a chance before it closed them off. With a bit of the fastest math she ever crunched, based on what dimensions she could see, iron weighing a little less than five hundred pounds per square foot, the plate probably weighed around 35,000 pounds, which was more than all her allocated Strength could handle. However, at the speed it was falling there must be gears and a counterweight. Crossing her fingers mentally, Honoka fought through the headache and hoped Miaka figured it out.


“Aaah!” The owl-cow woman arched her back as she shot up another four feet and gained what looked like nearly two thousand more pounds of muscle. It happened so quickly a small cloud of feathery down surrounded Miaka for a moment, her grow actually causing patches of molting as her body tried to keep up with the increase of mass. Looking at the plate with trepidation, Miaka took a few quick breaths and stepped forward. “This is insane!”


Stooping down in a squatting crouch and pushing her hands upward, the massive woman caught the falling iron and actually slowed it. Unable to stop it, inching closer downward to killing all of them, Miaka adjusted her footing as she put her back into it, her large beak opening up in a roar and her entire body bulging, veins actually visible through her feathery down.


Two more inches. An inch.


With the most impressive display of Plus Ultra ever witnessed, Miaka stopped the plate from moving, her entire frame trembling with effort.


“Got it!” Quinn cried, pulling a crystal the size of her head out of the hole and dropping into Dolly’s arms. The ottertaur didn’t waste words, galloping around the corner and ducking under the gap to the next room.


The last ten yards were agony for Honoka. Not because they were painful, but because Miaka looked like she would rather die than leave Honoka behind. One talon, likely slick with sweat, lost her grip, dropping the iron down onto Miaka’s shoulders and looking to crush her. However, her hand now free, Miaka reached out and grabbed Honoka at the final moment, pulling her through, Honoka’s succubus tail narrowly missing the crushing, clanging metal as they both collapsed onto the plated floor and gasped for air.


“…huh…huh…” Honoka couldn’t catch her breath, and the metal felt so cool and soothing against her skin, rust and dirt be darned, she lay on her back and even enjoyed the pleasant little tingle in her back as her wings cramped and informed her why Diane disliked Missionary. “…you gals…do this…all the time?”


“…nah.” Dolly was also breathing hard, but it looked like less from exertion and more from adrenaline. “Stuff like this is cake walking. Sometimes we pick up jobs that are challenging.”


“My bad,” Quinn said absently, looking over the green glowing TC in her hand and pulling the thaumian reader from Dolly’s pack, something that looked identical to a voltage tester. “Didn’t think the dungeon would move routes on us, mind was workin’ a tad slow from allocation. Goin’ between Floors isn’t supposed ta be this bad here. Should’ve listened ta Miaka: she has the Taurine dungeon direction sense.”


“Didn’t know that’s what it was.” Miaka’s voice was deep and velvety, her large beak adding a small echo. Currently, she was taking up half the floor space in the room, her body probably requiring a permit at this point to operate in city limits. “Thought it was intuition.”


Honoka rolled her head, seeing a set of stairs leading downward and nodding to herself, fighting the headache and setting all the allocations to zero. Yelps and cries were heard all around as everyone went back to their normal selves. The loudest was from Honoka as she felt pain again and curled into a ball, coming to grips from what was left from some acid burns on her legs. They weren’t bad any more, no worse than a sunburn at this point, but suddenly feeling them was a shock to her system. When Honoka came out of it, she was being held by Quinn and Honoka’s heart eased within the comfort of that soft, dark fur.


“What’s next?” Honoka said, standing but still holding Quinn, unwilling to stop the huggles at the moment.


“Down some stairs and across some cold tundra.” Dolly was unloading the large rolls of winter clothing from her back, setting them down and unrolling them for everyone. “I’ve never been down there but Miaka has.”


“Selling Ice Wasp venom to alchemists is like printing money, and the deadly buggers are only found on 272.” The kikiyaon was holding a bicep wistfully, likely missing the extra muscles already. “If going into their hives wasn’t a death sentence, more people would be down there: need a fully equipped raid group to attack a hive. I’ve never been to the honey farm, but I’ve seen the signs before. We should be there in a half-hour, tops.” Looking over at Honoka holding Quinn, the kikiyaon leered and came over, running a feathered arm lightly against Honoka’s very erect cock. “Or should we take a short break?”


Sucking in a sharp breath, Honoka jumped away even as her hips pulled forward, her penile instincts trying to find a willing hole amid all these sexy ladies. This disjoint of her body pulled her out of balance and sprawled her on the floor, moaning from all the small injuries that hadn’t had a chance to finish healing from goblin regeneration. The other girls laughed and helped her up, each of them getting some choice words that rhymed with a number of curses.


And no, sexy time could wait, the group throwing on as many thermals, jackets, blankets and fur rugs as they could each carry or strap onto their body to make their way down the stairs to the lower Floor. At first, all four women got very sweaty under all the layers, but it wasn’t long before they were chattering teeth as the temperature dropped below zero and kept steadily moving downward. When they reached 272, the cold was debilitating and a strong, swirling gust caused the group of wives to pause and look out at the desolation before them.


This would have been a perfect time for a quip, but the expanse of white and rock and ice left everyone too depressed and cold to say anything. And Quinn would have been the only one to hear anything anyway, the wind a loud banshee wailing death and frostbite. What they could see past the flurry of whiteness was the whole open area was mostly flat, broken up with jagged bumps that would occasionally open into black caverns leading down into icy, unknown depths.


Miaka, who was holding one of her glowing battle rods, walked over to the left of the stairs and whacked a seemingly random piece of ice. A dozen or so love taps and the ice broke away, revealing a worn metal sign with a blue striped bee painted on it and an arrow pointing down a trail of ice further to the left. Without needing to say anything, the hunched birdwoman gathered her coverings closer and trudged down the indicated road, the others following close behind.


It didn’t take long, less than a half hour, but it felt like an eternity. Two more signs later, the group was standing in front of what looked like just another rocky cave entrance, but this one had a massive antenna out front and about five feet into the cave, a bunker-style steel door hidden under almost a foot of snow and ice. Above the door, the same blue striped bee could be partially seen under a dim lamp. It took a few minutes, but after breaking off a sheet of ice to the right of the door with her rod, Miaka pressed a button underneath a speaker.


“What?”


The wind was still something fierce and no one heard the voice that crackled over the speaker. No one, except for Quinn. Moving to the front, the beastkin pushed the button and held it down as indicated next to the speaker, then screamed as loud as she could. “We want to talk ‘bout buyin’ some honey!”


“I only deal with licensed distributors and you aren’t Benson. Stop bugging me.”


Quinn turned to Honoka, about to explain when the black woman held up her hand, her eye twitching from allocating fifteen Perception, enough to catch most of the last response. Moving forward, Honoka pushed her numb fingers hard against the button. “Have you been selling a lot more honey this month compared to other months!?”


“…yes.”


“That’s us!” Honoka was thinking fast, mostly to figure out a way to get inside rather than talk out here in the cold. “We want to buy a lot more honey! If you want, we can trade in potions or holstaur milk!”


“You’re the source of the milk upstairs? Hmm…”


It took a few minutes, but Honoka knew saying anything more might ruin the deal. When it was getting to the point of the cold forcing them to call it quits, a loud buzzer rang and the door cracked open, ice splinters flying everywhere and startling the wives. Feeling a rush of warm air with it, the four gladly ducked inside and sighed from getting out of the cold. Not that the room roughly the size of a college dorm was actually warmer, it just seemed that way, only around thirty degrees. But compared to the subzero temperatures outside coupled with biting winds, it practically felt like a sauna. The room was completely bare, only having one door on the opposite wall of the door outside and then a smaller door to one side. Each door was the same heavy steel, but the one opposite had a camera and speaker above it.


The most unsettling part, to Honoka’s increased Perception and sharing a grim look with Quinn, was that the door to the side had some deep, powerful buzzing coming from the other side.


“I don’t like being lied to.” When the voice spoke over the speaker, the door leading back outside closed and bolted shut, the whole system contained and unlikely to open with any amount of force. “I see a lot of interesting Races in here, but none of you look like holstaurs to me.”


“Wasn’t lying, Banda Longhat’s back at home, probably watching a Disney movie by now.” Honoka gave Miaka a sidelong look, glancing at the buzzing door. Miaka leaned over, her eyes widening when she heard it, shaking her head very slightly as she motioned between the two doors. “I guess you have DiFi access down here with that antenna outside. She’s the niece of Cholena Longhat, owner of the Boston Dairy.”


“If she opens that door and we can’t get out, in this enclosed space, we are dead.” Miaka whispered, Honoka only barely catching the warning.


“I don’t see anything about a Banda Longhat, but you’re right about Cholena.” Now that there was no wind and with a better speaker, Honoka could now tell that the voice was female, though it sounded warped in some way, like there was something stuck in her mouth. “Just means you came prepared. Only it doesn’t fit. By all accounts on the message boards, the amount of milk being sold in Harvardtown amounts to a small dairy, not one heifer.”


Honoka pursed her lips. How paranoid can one girl be? The futa was cold, horny and now more than a little worried she was about to die by giant bee stings. Reasoning never works with crazy, only more crazy would work. Which is when she got a crazy idea.


“You’re correct, there’s a secret to it,” Honoka announced, sighing dramatically and pushing the hood of her coat up. “Banda is a member of our guild, but she’s not the only one getting milked. Dolly, could you hand me one of the holstaur potions?”


Dolly, bless her heart, didn’t get it immediately and almost gave the whole game away. When she did get it, the cheetaur’s face smiled and Honoka would swear she was about to Kronk it up by saying Oh riiight, the potion, the potion for Honoka, the potion chosen specially to allocate Honoka, Honoka’s potion.


“This potion?” Dolly asked, holding out the vial of water Honoka saw earlier up at FDR.


“Yes,” Honoka replied a bit too eagerly, wondering why in the world she was stuck in a universe where a lie was about to make more sense than the truth. Shucking out of her clothing and weapons, Dolly and Miaka took it upon themselves to hold up one of the large blankets to protect Honoka’s modesty. Honoka didn’t really care, naked was becoming her zen, but she wouldn’t begrudge her wives for doing it either. Smiling a bit, Honoka held up the vial of water and gulped it down. She immediately bent over a little, looking like she was gagging but in reality suffering the effects of a massive Status migraine as she dialed up Banda and went all in. She also made sure to add another six Strength from Padmava and six more from Diane, thinking if things were about to go sideways she would just toro the door open like a mad bull.


Boobs and muscles really were Honoka’s top fetishes. Which one was more loved than the other, Honoka had no idea, they were tied for first place. Second place was a solid GTS with strange and interesting Racial monster girls a close third. Those four were all combined in Banda and Honoka actually thanked God every night before going to bed to not only live a life surrounded by women who all exemplified those traits, but to have a Class that allowed her to experience it herself anew each time she allocated. There was no question among the wives that Honoka loved each and everyone one of them as a person, thinking each one was beautiful and doing her utmost to treat each wife with respect, love, tender care and equal passion.

However, they also weren’t blind or stupid. They knew which wife ticked all of Honoka’s boxes. The fact Banda was such an adorable sweetheart the only reason jealous bullying hadn’t broken out. That, and the knowledge that each wife was only a few Harmony points away from being the next big girl on campus.


The wives didn’t see Banda as an unreachable ideal. They saw her as a hurdle they all needed to jump over.


“This never gets old,” Honoka whispered, her vascular system going into overdrive and blowing up all over her body, the burgeoning and bulging of her body swolling far beyond human capacity and building into a framework of muscled perfection Honoka knew as a holstaur woman. Shoulders grew out twice and proportionally wide, those clavicles and scapulas far thicker and larger to hold up the meaty deltoids and trapezius muscles. Pectorals fought each other to see which would grow larger over a ribcage that could now fit a heart and lungs capable of powering such a massive engine of throbbing destruction. It was enough to cream herself right there if the Beast hadn’t shrunk down and disappeared already.

As Honoka reveled in her breasts bloating and filling with hot, frothing milk, she noticed a few other things from the last time she spent any real time as a holstaur. First, her muscles really were bulging far larger than normal, making it difficult to move. This was expected, and she should have grabbed some more Agility to counter it, but her headache said this was going to be her limit for at least an hour. And she would have played with her new and large tits more - to heck with a voyeuristic camera watching beekeeper - but said tits kept on growing and growing. They passed what Honoka knew was a normal R to T sized range and only stopped just on the other side of Z. Reaching up, they felt abnormally heavy, even with all the Strength pumping in her arms. Confused, Honoka realized what the problem was as she felt a pressure building up behind her swollen teats, each one aching with a painful need to express milk.


Its like when I allocate as a succubus, Honoka realized, putting the hamster in her brain to work. Every allocation is stored in some kind of metaphorical closet when I’m not using them, but when I’m using a particular Race or even Racial Feature, it builds up or expends the particular energy of that Race while I’m allocating it. When I’m a succubus, I require sexual energy to fill up my hunger. When I’m a holstaur, my tits fill up with milk. Guess all the time has added up.


Holding up her arms in a devastating flex of both her guns, Honoka let the other wives wrap the blanket around her like a towel and then put on a few more coverings to keep her warm. “Satisfied? If you want a free taste test, you’re going to have to hurry and let us in before the potion wears off.”


“信じられない.”


Honoka blinked, wondering what in the wide wide world of sports is a Japanese phrase of disbelief coming from out of that speaker above the door. Before she could say anything, Honoka tensed as another buzzer sounded off and the door in front of them opened up on silent hinges. Puffing out a nervous breath, Honoka shrugged and led the way further into the bunker, the other wives following, everyone mostly relieved they wouldn’t be dealing with any monster wasps at the moment.


...


That's all I got. Hope this keeps y'all with me while I get back to a writing schedule that isn't constantly interrupted by work, Amazon Drama, marketing woes or just plain writers block.


Keep harmonizing!


#ailovestogrow #classvideos #book2preview #overtime

Sorry About Last Week

 Originally posted on July 31, 2020 at https://ailovestogrow.wixsite.com/mysite/post/sorry-about-last-week


So, last week...


I don't know what happened, and I probably jumped the gun, but I flipped out because in every way I could determine through my limited viewport, I was finished. I believe sometime in the distant future, someone is going to dig up the digital remains of my blog posts and they are going to say:


This girl needs to chillax. One second she's jumping up and down like a tween over her first crush inviting her to prom, the next she's playing the Smiths and eating Mint Chocolate Ice Cream naked in the shower while crying.


Whatever happened, it seems to be back to normal now and I even received a new review! Arigatou Kage no Neko! I got all kinds of happiness from hearing you say my book had hope and heroism. It's a book about me working through my own sexual acceptance, and you think that is heroic: in a roundabout way, I just got called a hero. Thanks thanks!! Also happy to see some stars from John M Smith at Goodreads! Thanks!


Thanks to Vanima as well on Amazon, happy to see BM has a little bit of something for everyone. Most reviewers have come around for the futa, expansion or monster girls, but it looks like people can come around for the lesbian as well. Sooo happy to bring the girl power! On a side note, I call a lesbian harem a Reverse Reverse Harem, or an R2 Harem in my head. I want there to be enough R2 Harems that they'll have to coin a term and give me internet props for being the first to use it. Also thanks to Random for the CENSORED review! Happy to see you back and driving traffic to BM while helping the visibility of CENSORED for those who are new.


Next on the docket is International Reviews! First, let me say that these reviews don't show up on my Amazon Author feed and as far as Amazon is concerned, I should have no feedback to them at all. I didn't even know they existed until yesterday. Probably a good thing for my mental health, the only two new reviews I've found come from Germany and they are both rather critical. MY FIRST 1 OF 5 STAR REVIEWS!! I am sorry ReadingGrump and Tristram Bear that you did not enjoy my story, I hope you can find some enjoyable stories elsewhere.


This did lead to me perusing the international options in my KDP menus and I discovered some interesting factoids. US sales are far and away my number one slot. I get it, my books are English and use Imperial measuring units. I work around a lot of European equipment so that's the only reason I'm not thrown off by metric, but others might not care to have to math just to enjoy a story. 11% of my sales come from International English (Australia, UK and Canada). 5% comes from everywhere else, what I'm calling International Foreign Languages. Of that, less than 1% comes from Germany. I'm very happy with all my German friends and hope you don't feel intimidated by the reviews currently live on your Amazon page.


This does pose a question for all you Internationals: would you like to see a Metric Version of the books? I might do it in the future after I get Book 2 pushed out the door just to see what response I'll get, but if I get some major fan feedback I'll crunch those numbers sooner.


On another note, I don't use Google. I don't like how they track me and I have personal reasons not to use the search engine ("then why is your email gmail?" because other reasons). This means I've never tracked my book on anything other than DuckDuckGo until yesterday. I found out that I have hit the big time because Becoming Monsters is currently being pirated as we speak. I'll be the first to say I'm not thrilled, but I'm resigned to understand. I hope that any one of the 4400+ who has "accessed" the book, if they enjoyed it, consider my desire to continue writing is directly linked to sales and fan responses. At the very least, help a girl out and post a review. I think we all want to see me finish this series sometime this decade.


Got some tasty comments on the blog this week as well. Thank you again, Kyle, you are actually the one that pointed me in the direction that all was not lost! There I was in my shower with my ice cream when I got the notice you didn't see any problems. I have no idea who flipped what switch in the Amazon server, but it changed everything. I'm still a delicate bundle of nerves and I spent most of this week puttering while reading blog things. I promise more chapters next week. Also thanks to Darnell Davis for your comment. I'll be blunt, I don't know what "painful pass elements" means, but I am super happy! In fact, I got a fun little graphic that I think sums up what I think about any and all reviews/comments/theories/fanfiction:


Do you read that?! I LOVE YOU!!


RL job is ramping up some productions, probably going to be super busy BUT I still want to get back to writing chapters and I will make it happen. My emotional state is settling back into a normal and I am ready to saddle up and flip this Sybian into high gear! Ch24 is going to see how far Honoka will go to keep her family safe. Wish me luck and don't be afraid to review/comment/email/post fanfics (with proper attribution) on Literotica or RoyalRoad, I love it and love you forever!


In an effort to keep you all entertained, Editor-kun pointed me towards a new YouTube channel that is keeping me riveted: https://www.youtube.com/c/Sideways440 . I'm actually a bit of a music nerd on top of all my other geekdoms and have been known to dabble in obscure musical realms. I also used to think I was pretty diverse in my musical listenings, but this guy has proven me wrong. I'm not a slouch, I listen to opera, but apparently Puccini isn't as hardcore as Wagner. Now my playlist has some of the highlights of Der Ring des Nibelungen and while I'm digging these tunes, it is heavy stuff. However, Sideways is so avidly into all the nuance of whatever he's talking about it is hard not to want to geek right along with him. Then I interspace his videos with the amaze-balls hilarity of ImKibitz building Satisfactory factories and - if I feel I have the stomach for it - some of the rants from my other, more colorfully languaged channels (GameGrumps, Critical Drinker, etc). I usually hit all these during lunch breaks if I'm not busy rewatching Spirited Away or Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


Keep harmonizing!


#ailovestogrow #mistakesweremade #iloveactivefandom #killdawabbit

Quick Update

 A lot of you probably think I'm dead. I'm not, but I'm also not 100% With my condition, I'll never be 100%, but I'm man...