Took A Xanax This Week

 Originally posted on May 9, 2020 at https://ailovestogrow.wixsite.com/mysite/post/took-a-xanax-this-week

I need to keep my big mouth shut, because every time I get deliriously happy, the crash is that much harder.

Didn't get as much done this week as I wanted, but I did get more than I expected when Friday rolled around. Part of the problem is Chapter 16 is such a complicated chapter, I needed to make a chart to keep track of everything. The other part is I have trouble writing when I'm depressed. Sorry, just the nature of the beast. 9500 words and Chapter 16 is now done.

((The other OTHER problem, which isn't a problem, is that my cover artist got back to me and is starting on the cover for book 1. SO EXCITED!! Also, my plans are moving forward with the Secret Project. Hopefully more on that soonish))

You all should find a different author to follow, this one is defective and needs to be returned to the manufacturer. My anxieties and emotional balances are maintained with a volatile cocktail of medications my doctor has orchestrated over the last ten years. While I've slowly gotten worse in some areas, my meds allow me to pretend to function as an adult human being...most of the time. Then something tiny can set me off and I'll spend my lunch break breathing into a bag.

I don't think I'm talking about this because I'm looking for sympathy so much as I'm trying to explain what kind of person I am. My mental state is far more prone to phobias than the average person not because I was psychologically scarred as a child but because I have a brain defect that produces the wrong levels of certain chemicals inside my head. In another twenty years, I'll probably reach a point where I'm in a constant state of panic, but that might just be the paranoia talking.

Enough about my problems. My life philosophy is that everyone has problems, my problems aren't any more special than your problems. I just wanted to explain why my posts come off as rollercoastery and got a little sidetracked. This time I got set off because of a comment on GR. The other person probably wasn't trying to be mean and I was honestly curious and not vindictive, but whatever. I'm sorry it reached that point and I hope the person forgives me. I've been spending a lot of time on GR so I think I'll back off for now and focus on writing.

Did you know Stan Lee was 38 when he wrote Fantastic Four #1? I'm 39 now, but I was 38 when I started writing Growing Problems. I don't think I'm anything comparable to Stan and his talent, but as someone who has looked around at people achieving their dreams so young, it is encouraging to me that us older gens can still reach for something.

Shoutout to ncross on Amazon! I get a big ol' cheezy grin whenever I see someone who tells me they like my book, whether it be in a review, a comment on this website or GR, a simple wordless star rating, or even a long and detailed email. However, if you really want to see me squirt, I love to hear details: favorite wife, favorite scene, favorite position, why? I want it all! So thanks ncross for making my day!

Alright! Back to the grindstone.

Keep harmonizing!

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...oooooooh snap! I hope you gals and guys can keep it in your pants long enough for you to get to someplace private because a certain succubus is about to ask if you can give her a hand!

*squee!* Allocate all your love to the incomparable @Plasmidhentai!

#ailovestogrow #medicated #everyonehasproblems #stantheman #sneakpeek